Two Days in London
Two days in London. A blast from the past.
I imagine all the experiences you go through after years of not seeing your past girlfriend; all the changes and growth during that time. Moving to Jordan, going moving to the US, moving back to Jordan, making a film, meeting Panda, feeling love, having my heart broken again, doing ice baths, COVID, discovering movement, feeling my body and accessing my sensuality, creating my first creative spaces, discovering breath work, buying my first digital camera, and then losing it a couple years after, going to your first festival, deciding to have a mustache, surfing for the first time, and biking under the blazing Portuguese sun and barely making it to my destination.
Imagine the being that you have become, truthfully understanding and maneuvering the world in a more pure way.
I then decide to meet her, years later. A feeling that I felt so strongly about. A feeling that makes me happy to have made happen.
I then remember my whole being with her, the attractive energy that she provided and gave me. Having no fear to look at her closely and with real appreciation of her existence. The thoughts and journeys she goes through are challenges of the heart. Those are the challenges that I usual face as well. By the end our multi-day encounter, it felt like we needed more time together.
The joy she gives me when she is joyous fulfills a part of me that can only be filled by one person. A total comfort, a sense of home. That’s what I felt when I looked into her eyes, home.
This is coming from a boy who has a sister in Amman, a sister in Washington, DC, a sister in Dallas, Texas, and a sister in Portland, Oregon. His bi-cultural family is now dispersed the same way Palestinians and Jews have dispersed, one mother in Dallas with her family, and a father in Amman, with his.
Our home is holy. It is the holiness of family.
That is what I felt when I looked into her eyes. A woman who is so eager to have kids she says always wanted to be not even a mother, but a grandmother. These two days in London served as a reminder of how reconnecting with others from the past can bring your past self back in both its negatives and positives. Now, with all the experiences and clarity that I gained throughout my late 20s to carry myself forward. I felt invigorated by our reunion, and a desire to see her again soon.
These photos start a couple days before meeting her and finish at the last moment I see her.
After losing my camera and having a new one in my hands several days later due to the generosity of a friend, I felt that my photos have to have more weight. It is a privilege to have a camera at this moment, make use of it. During these days, and with the inspiration that London provides, my photos show an evolution of some sort, a slowly growing visual maturity.
